Happy Birthday Husband

   
    Today is my husband Adam's birthday! Last year his birthday was slightly less celebrated because it was our wedding eve so this year I threw him a big surprise party! He deserves to be celebrated so much everyday and especially today! I loved seeing all of his friends and family filling him up with love at his party yesterday and I loved being around people who love Adam because we all collectively know how great he his and for a little while I'm not alone in my complete adoration of him. Honestly, I could talk about him everyday, all day forever because I think he is one of the most remarkable human beings ever.
    Adam is the kindest, most tender-hearted man I have ever met. He is patient, understanding, slow to anger - everything love is supposed to be. He is fun to be around and silly and helpful and sweet. And he is endlessly creative - so so creative. I stand in awe (and in jealousy) sometimes at how his mind works and how he can create such masterpieces in music or art or computer design stuff. Today I am so thankful for the birthdays I have had the opportunity to spend with him and also for the birthdays before I met him that made him into the remarkable man I know today. Happy Birthday Adam - you are so loved.

Happenings

       So much has happened in the month since classes ended...I got most of my hair chopped off, saw Josh Garrels in concert, escaped to the shores of Michigan for a much needed B&B vacation , I worked A LOT, joined Team Tyler as the matron of honor, Adam was gone for a week recording James and The Drifters, and we spent quite a bit of time with family. Goodness gracious, this month has been jam packed with joy and I have been so thankful for a brief season of relaxation, sewing, and husband-time. 

Happy Birthday Padre'

    This is me and my dad right before I walked down the aisle on my wedding day. I think right before this picture we were trying to make jokes about my mother's uncontrollable crying to keep ourselves from falling apart.

      In truth, there really is nothing more that I love to do than make my father laugh. I love to see that goofy smile creep up on the corners of his quiet face when he's been tickled by something I said or did. Those feel like some of the most accomplished moments in my life.

   Ever since I can remember people have remarked that my dad and I are two peas in a pod and I always loved to hear that because there was nothing I wanted more than to be just like my dad. His favorite color was green, so my favorite color was green. He liked watching sci-fi, so I liked watching sci-fi. He was smart, so I wanted to be smart. And I also blame my sweet tooth on him because I'm pretty sure every tooth in my father's mouth is a sweet tooth.

   I have always admired and respected my dad so much. He is such a man of character and integrity who put his family first in everything. My dad never missed a single band concert, choir concert, award ceremony, or birthday party. He was always there for everything encouraging me in the things I loved to do and showing his support for all my efforts. And he showed me how a man should treat a woman with respect and honor and I am convinced that is the reason I was never boy crazy like a lot of my friends growing up.

    I have learned so much from my dad through his remarkable example of strong faith and quiet generosity. His life has so strongly impacted the way I live my life and I am so thankful and proud that I grew up with him as a father and role model.

Happy Birthday Dad - I love you so much.

I'm trusting there's elegance in the dissonance

       When Donald Miller wrote "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" I felt like he wrote it for me. I love the idea that with each day and each season of our life we are writing a story and we can choose what goes in those chapters with our actions and attitudes and the moments we create. I was reminded of my love of this idea today as I was driving to work listening to music. Sleeping at Last's "Page 28" came on and I was re-inspired to take a look at the chapter I am currently writing. I don't want this chapter to be titled 'The season of getting by' or 'Stress, Sickness, and How to Make it Through'. I'd rather it talk about the beauty of lazy Saturday mornings and springtime walks and late night conversations and making friends. So now I'm remembering to focus on the peaceful times and finding the extraordinary in the routine. 
Here are the beautiful lyrics:

have you read the script? could you picture it?

... is it worth the risk?

everything i love is on the line,

on these neon signs.

but i need to know- when you looked away,

was it something that i said? was it something that i said?

well okay, okay, i need you more than i did before.

now that the concrete is nearly set.

here in the second act i’m living in repair.

strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear.

and there, on page 28, i’m so tired of drying glue,

i begin my grand attempt at building something new.

though i tend to write the epiphany more immediately,

i guess i’m trusting that there’s such a thing

as elegance in dissonance.

God, i’m skeptical of pulling scenes.

was it something that i said? was it something that i did?

please don’t get me wrong- i still need your help

as history repeats itself

here in the aftermath, i’m pulling at the seams.

strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine.

and there, on page 29, i find “new” and make it mine.

but i can't help casting shadows on all i leave behind.

maybe i could afford to change a bit...even let go of the reigns?

every torn out page was worth the risk

now that the stakes have been raised.

so here in the final draft, i've given all i have. 

strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan.

there's nothing left on the page, but i'm okay with that,

for i found my resolution was designed for stronger hands.

Happy Birthday Momma!

I just love this picture of my mom. I think it shows her personality so well. Silly with a big warm smile. 

   When I think of my mom I think of warmth, and generosity, and strength, and maybe a dash of emotion in there too:) I have learned so much from her and I'm proud to say I am like her in so many ways.

She showed me how fun it is to do things for people, and that's its ok to cry sometimes.

She demonstrated what it means to put others above yourself and how to love with a big heart.

She is playful and silly and tender and loving and bubbling over with empathy and compassion for others.

She loves to remember little things that people like and then buy them tons of it randomly
(which is why our house is stocked full of nutella and sour candy, not that I'm complaining of course!).

She cries at birthday cards and Hallmark commercials.

She loves hugs and good books.

And when she loves you, you know it and you'll probably always feel it. 

Happy birthday Mom!

Rest

       Sundays are not particularly restful in general at the Cox country home. We wake up earlier than any other day of the week, go into the church hours before church starts, I go into prepping and planning and Adam starts worship practice. Adam spends most of the service on stage or singing and I spend it doing crafts and telling stories. Now don't get me wrong we love serving in the ways that we can, but as two introverts after being 'on' for a few hours we are pretty popped by the time we get home. Then, we go back to the church in the evening to babysit or sometimes there is something going on that we are there for. 

    

     All of this is to say that we don't properly sabbath. But we do our best to piece together a sabbath of our own which includes Friday nights, Saturday mornings, and sometimes Sunday afternoons. This weekend, however, felt a bit more rushed and a bit less sabbath-y to me. I'm not really sure what it was really. 

    

      But on my way home tonight from the church I rolled down my windows, put on some loud (but not too loud) tunes, and enjoyed the ride home alone. 

   

I picked some beautiful, emotional, and meandering songs.

I let myself sing in my best indie girl singer voice.  

I smelled the fresh cut grass and the bonfires and let the dusk air swirl around in my loose curly hair. 

                                        

And I felt rest. 

     I felt rest so deeply in my heart that I nearly cried.  I let my mind go and just love the smells, and sounds, and the touch of the country air. For a moment peace was so real. And it was at that moment that I decided to create more spaces like that in my weeks. Instead of trying to cram life into every nook and cranny of my day I need to leave more spaces - margins for creativity and emotion and pleasure. 

And that's that. 

Spring Break '12