Believing this is true

"My future hangs on this - you make preciousness from dust.

 Please don't stop creating me.

Fragments of brokenness, salvaged by the art of grace. 

You craft life from our mistakes."

-Rend Collective 

Reunited and it feels so good

 

   
     This weekend was one of my favorites of this year. It was full of friends and celebration and so, so much laughter. It was the kind of weekend that leaves you the best kind of tired at the end from laughing so hard and talking so much and catching up with old friends rapidly. I loved having my dearest friends sitting in my home, drinking coffee, and eating sweet treats just enjoying the ease of talking with one another and savoring the fullness of each moment together. It was perfection.
     And we all came together for one of my most dear friends, Elle. I loved seeing her and celebrating with her and watching the love that each one of the guests had for this beautiful bride-to-be. I feel so blessed to be in another chapter of Elle's magnificent life, the part where she finds true love and gets to tell the world its forever. I can't wait to stand with my friends in five weeks and five days and witness this beautiful beginning.

Spontaneous Peace

   This past Friday was one of my favorite days in this, my favorite season. 

The day began with Adam and I eating breakfast together at Panera. They graciously sliced and toasted a piece of Autumn perfection (a pumpkin pie bagel) just for me and I, very sincerely, proclaimed "I can't believe this is happening to me!" While we ate we had time to talk, and not about work or homework or stress, just time to talk and laugh and people watch.  Then we joined some beautiful friends for lunch and talked about the joy and love they are experiencing as a baby is promising to come into their family soon. Adam and I felt so honored to be there for another piece of this baby's unfolding story. 

   Then one of the best parts occurred in the afternoon during our time of waiting. We were waiting to pick up our dog from the vet and waiting to go to Adam's brother's for dinner so we decided to revisit one of our favorite places, the Indianapolis Art Museum gardens. We grabbed a blanket and books and trekked out to a large patch of sunned, yet shaded grass were we laid out our blanket and relaxed. I had every intention of reading but I drifted to sleep under the trees that were dropping leaves into my hair and all over my book. I'm not sure if it was the slight autumn chill combined with the sun's warmth that lulled me to sleep or if it was the peace I felt being somewhere secluded and silent but I slept well. Its the kind of sleep that you wake from feeling perfectly rested and slightly warm inside with a bit of heaviness in your limbs. It was perfection, and exactly what I needed

The moments from this day were so beautiful and as I remember them I just can't help but love the story that Adam and I are telling, even in a season of stress and busyness, with small moments like these that feel surreal and untouchable. I feel so grateful for a husband who helps craft these times and who fills them with more love and brown-eyed smiles than I could have imagined. 

Make like a tree and leaf

    Today feels so much like Fall I can barely stand it...

       The windows are open in every room, sweet cinnamon pumpkin candles are burning, my Fall playlists are serenading me, and I'm wearing my favorite mustard yellow cardigan.


I love this old country house most in the Fall, its her prime.

Summer Time

   I honestly think this has been one of the most insane summers of our lives, even more than last summer (and that's saying a whole lot!). This summer Adam and I found our first ever dog and learned how to be dog owners... I took classes through a good majority of the summer, played around at water parks, saw friends from far away, went to family reunions, concerts, birthday parties, weddings, and many more. I read a lot of books in May and sewed in August... And as I look back on our calendars for the summer I think nearly every weekend was filled with places to go and people to see. Its incredible how busy the 'relaxing' part of a year can be, isn't it?

   But we enjoyed this busy season and the sweet moments it gave us. It was a summer of so much celebration and joy, a summer of gratitude and growth.

   And now I'm staring down the last week of my summer, with anticipation and excitement (and just a pinch of anxiety!). After Labor Day I'll have new classes, a new job, and I'll start seeing clients in the clinic. It's going to be another completely brand new chapter with new adventures, challenges, and causes for celebration.

Ready. Set. Go.

Herbivore

I have thoroughly enjoyed being a vegetarian (or as I like to refer to myself, a herbivore) for the last couple years and I really feel like it has helped me be more adventurous in the kinds of things I eat. Recently Adam and I have been trying to make a couple new recipes a month to find  new favorites that eventually become 'regulars'. We have tried a lot of new things and Adam has even been a fan of most of them without even adding meat! So I decided to make a list of my new top five fav's, complete with recipe (in no particular order, because I love them all equally).

1. Southwestern Pizza with black beans and corn 

On this one Adam does like to add a little seasoned chicken to his half of this pizza...to each his own!

Recipe: http://www.thekitchn.com/weeknight-recipe-southwestern-147062 

2. Skillet gnocchi with chard and white beans 

Gnocchi is delicious! I first had it on our honeymoon at a restaurant in the top of the CN Tower and I fell in love. It is a little potato pasta dumpling that goes well with lots of flavors! When we were first making this one, though, we were looking at the ingredients together and kept saying "well, this will be interesting" as politely as possible...but in the end it was soooo good! So don't let the seemingly strange ingredients put you off

Recipe: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/27/skillet-gnocchi-with-char_n_1061875.html 

3. Vegetable Stir Fry 

We love this one so much because it is the easiest thing in the world to make! It takes a handful of minutes and basically only a couple ingredients (if you don't use meat)!

Recipe: http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Asian-Beef-and-Noodles

4. Pesto Risotto with Green Beans 

My sister-in-law gave me a Moosewood's cookbook with tons of great vegetarian recipes in it and this one is by far my favorite yet. Adam and I are obsessed with risotto (I have no idea why or how) and this was a perfect way to spice up our normal parmesan risotto! 

Recipe: http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=658179

5. Summer Corn Cakes 

Well, technically we haven't made this one yet, but we are supremely excited to make it soon. Adam keeps asking when its for dinner but I think he's mainly just interested because its kinda fried, haha.

Recipe: http://www.ezrapoundcake.com/archives/12345

Luxo

   I don't know how its possible that I have not written anything about the newest addition to my family....Luxo! We found him two days before Adam's birthday (thus three days before our 1 year anniversary) and we decided to officially keep him a couple weeks ago. We searched high and low for an owner but alas there was none to be found (thankfully!!!) This little guy is so much fun and everyone that meets him thinks he is absolutely adorable! I mean look at him, isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?

 
   Anyway, every time we tell people his name they always mispronounce it or ask where it came from. Well, here's the secret...it came from Pixar! For those of you who know Adam and I well, you probably aren't surprised. We love Pixar movies and the shorts! Luxo comes from Pixar's very first short entitled Luxo Jr. You might also recognize him as the cute little lamp guy at the beginning of every Pixar movie that bounces on the I in Pixar.
   Luxo fits his namesake well too because he is the bounciest, hoppiest puppy I have ever seen. When we go on walks he bounds through grass much taller than himself and searches out his-sized prey (mostly butterflies and ants). Oh, and his favorite toy is a round plastic ball that he could chase for hours by himself in the yard!

 

 We are loving having a puppy so much! Adam and I never had dogs growing up so this little guy is our first ever! He is so much fun and such a cuddler! We are so thankful that we took a wrong turn on our Friday morning walk and discovered our new friend!

Oh, and here's the Luxo short, (if you know our puppy you know he fits his name so well)!

 

June

June, June - You were quite a month.

    I cannot imagine there could be a month with more celebration, surprises, and chaos than this June. June began with me starting my first summer course - typical life stuff, right? But June quickly became not so normal as we began celebrating several birthdays back to back, found a dog on the side of the road, had a surprise party for Adam, celebrated being married for a year (!!!), and found Elle's wedding dress. And that was only the first two weeks! 

    Then we saw friends from New York we hadn't seen in a year, celebrated and basked in the joy of friend's starting new adventures, had a sleepover with Peyton and Ava, and Adam started and continued a million recording, audio, and web design projects.

   I felt like I barely had a chance to catch my breath in this extraordinary, whirlwind month but it was such a beautiful busyness....the kind that sparks important conversations, fills your heart and keeps a smile on your face.

So thanks June - you are again one of my favorite months of the year

Happy Birthday Husband

   
    Today is my husband Adam's birthday! Last year his birthday was slightly less celebrated because it was our wedding eve so this year I threw him a big surprise party! He deserves to be celebrated so much everyday and especially today! I loved seeing all of his friends and family filling him up with love at his party yesterday and I loved being around people who love Adam because we all collectively know how great he his and for a little while I'm not alone in my complete adoration of him. Honestly, I could talk about him everyday, all day forever because I think he is one of the most remarkable human beings ever.
    Adam is the kindest, most tender-hearted man I have ever met. He is patient, understanding, slow to anger - everything love is supposed to be. He is fun to be around and silly and helpful and sweet. And he is endlessly creative - so so creative. I stand in awe (and in jealousy) sometimes at how his mind works and how he can create such masterpieces in music or art or computer design stuff. Today I am so thankful for the birthdays I have had the opportunity to spend with him and also for the birthdays before I met him that made him into the remarkable man I know today. Happy Birthday Adam - you are so loved.

Happenings

       So much has happened in the month since classes ended...I got most of my hair chopped off, saw Josh Garrels in concert, escaped to the shores of Michigan for a much needed B&B vacation , I worked A LOT, joined Team Tyler as the matron of honor, Adam was gone for a week recording James and The Drifters, and we spent quite a bit of time with family. Goodness gracious, this month has been jam packed with joy and I have been so thankful for a brief season of relaxation, sewing, and husband-time. 

Happy Birthday Padre'

    This is me and my dad right before I walked down the aisle on my wedding day. I think right before this picture we were trying to make jokes about my mother's uncontrollable crying to keep ourselves from falling apart.

      In truth, there really is nothing more that I love to do than make my father laugh. I love to see that goofy smile creep up on the corners of his quiet face when he's been tickled by something I said or did. Those feel like some of the most accomplished moments in my life.

   Ever since I can remember people have remarked that my dad and I are two peas in a pod and I always loved to hear that because there was nothing I wanted more than to be just like my dad. His favorite color was green, so my favorite color was green. He liked watching sci-fi, so I liked watching sci-fi. He was smart, so I wanted to be smart. And I also blame my sweet tooth on him because I'm pretty sure every tooth in my father's mouth is a sweet tooth.

   I have always admired and respected my dad so much. He is such a man of character and integrity who put his family first in everything. My dad never missed a single band concert, choir concert, award ceremony, or birthday party. He was always there for everything encouraging me in the things I loved to do and showing his support for all my efforts. And he showed me how a man should treat a woman with respect and honor and I am convinced that is the reason I was never boy crazy like a lot of my friends growing up.

    I have learned so much from my dad through his remarkable example of strong faith and quiet generosity. His life has so strongly impacted the way I live my life and I am so thankful and proud that I grew up with him as a father and role model.

Happy Birthday Dad - I love you so much.

I'm trusting there's elegance in the dissonance

       When Donald Miller wrote "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" I felt like he wrote it for me. I love the idea that with each day and each season of our life we are writing a story and we can choose what goes in those chapters with our actions and attitudes and the moments we create. I was reminded of my love of this idea today as I was driving to work listening to music. Sleeping at Last's "Page 28" came on and I was re-inspired to take a look at the chapter I am currently writing. I don't want this chapter to be titled 'The season of getting by' or 'Stress, Sickness, and How to Make it Through'. I'd rather it talk about the beauty of lazy Saturday mornings and springtime walks and late night conversations and making friends. So now I'm remembering to focus on the peaceful times and finding the extraordinary in the routine. 
Here are the beautiful lyrics:

have you read the script? could you picture it?

... is it worth the risk?

everything i love is on the line,

on these neon signs.

but i need to know- when you looked away,

was it something that i said? was it something that i said?

well okay, okay, i need you more than i did before.

now that the concrete is nearly set.

here in the second act i’m living in repair.

strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear.

and there, on page 28, i’m so tired of drying glue,

i begin my grand attempt at building something new.

though i tend to write the epiphany more immediately,

i guess i’m trusting that there’s such a thing

as elegance in dissonance.

God, i’m skeptical of pulling scenes.

was it something that i said? was it something that i did?

please don’t get me wrong- i still need your help

as history repeats itself

here in the aftermath, i’m pulling at the seams.

strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine.

and there, on page 29, i find “new” and make it mine.

but i can't help casting shadows on all i leave behind.

maybe i could afford to change a bit...even let go of the reigns?

every torn out page was worth the risk

now that the stakes have been raised.

so here in the final draft, i've given all i have. 

strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan.

there's nothing left on the page, but i'm okay with that,

for i found my resolution was designed for stronger hands.

Happy Birthday Momma!

I just love this picture of my mom. I think it shows her personality so well. Silly with a big warm smile. 

   When I think of my mom I think of warmth, and generosity, and strength, and maybe a dash of emotion in there too:) I have learned so much from her and I'm proud to say I am like her in so many ways.

She showed me how fun it is to do things for people, and that's its ok to cry sometimes.

She demonstrated what it means to put others above yourself and how to love with a big heart.

She is playful and silly and tender and loving and bubbling over with empathy and compassion for others.

She loves to remember little things that people like and then buy them tons of it randomly
(which is why our house is stocked full of nutella and sour candy, not that I'm complaining of course!).

She cries at birthday cards and Hallmark commercials.

She loves hugs and good books.

And when she loves you, you know it and you'll probably always feel it. 

Happy birthday Mom!

Rest

       Sundays are not particularly restful in general at the Cox country home. We wake up earlier than any other day of the week, go into the church hours before church starts, I go into prepping and planning and Adam starts worship practice. Adam spends most of the service on stage or singing and I spend it doing crafts and telling stories. Now don't get me wrong we love serving in the ways that we can, but as two introverts after being 'on' for a few hours we are pretty popped by the time we get home. Then, we go back to the church in the evening to babysit or sometimes there is something going on that we are there for. 

    

     All of this is to say that we don't properly sabbath. But we do our best to piece together a sabbath of our own which includes Friday nights, Saturday mornings, and sometimes Sunday afternoons. This weekend, however, felt a bit more rushed and a bit less sabbath-y to me. I'm not really sure what it was really. 

    

      But on my way home tonight from the church I rolled down my windows, put on some loud (but not too loud) tunes, and enjoyed the ride home alone. 

   

I picked some beautiful, emotional, and meandering songs.

I let myself sing in my best indie girl singer voice.  

I smelled the fresh cut grass and the bonfires and let the dusk air swirl around in my loose curly hair. 

                                        

And I felt rest. 

     I felt rest so deeply in my heart that I nearly cried.  I let my mind go and just love the smells, and sounds, and the touch of the country air. For a moment peace was so real. And it was at that moment that I decided to create more spaces like that in my weeks. Instead of trying to cram life into every nook and cranny of my day I need to leave more spaces - margins for creativity and emotion and pleasure. 

And that's that. 

Spring Break '12

Sucre'

    
      I was so excited to hear about this new project, Sucre' ....and not just because its French for sugar and I happen to love both the French language and all things sugary and sweet! This is a combination of three of some of Adam and I's favorite bands: Eisley, MuteMath, and Jeremy Larson. Its a beautiful mix and I cannot wait for their album to come out in April (conveniently the day after my birthday I hear). 

I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it

       A few days before our wedding Adam wrote a song for me about our wedding day and our life together that would just be beginning. I knew nothing about it (he's really good at keeping secrets) until he played it for me for the first time on our wedding day when we came back to our lovely country home as Mr. and Mrs. Cox. I loved it more than I could say, so I mostly just cried. He is so amazingly talented and creative and wonderful. 
    He recorded the song for me as a Christmas gift this year and I have been meaning to put it up before now but I wasn't sure how to do that until I made him do it for me (he's also a technological genius). In sum, Adam is awesome and also he would be furious if he knew I was saying all these wonderful things about him. But really I have a marvelously magnificent husband and I'm not just saying that because its Valentine's day. I am blessed and I know it. But that's enough rambling......here's the song and lyrics!


*Note: In case you don't recall the theme of our wedding was 'let love grow' which is where some of the inspiration came from....enjoy!

Never Fade
It's not in a name, it's in your eyes
You'll always be the moon in my sky so bright
Now take mine as yours, we'll give it everything

We will walk through our days under love, unafraid of what they bring

When the clouds roll in

I will shelter you from the rain

And my love will shine through the dark

It will never fade, it will never fade, it will never fade

Few hours have past, now there's years left to go

Time to cultivate love, sow it deep, feel it grow

May our hearts overflow, let them not be contained

Then we'll blanket our world in the fragrance of spring

When the clouds roll in

I will shelter you from the rain

And my love will shine through the dark

It will never fade, it will never fade, it will never fade

When the clouds roll in

We'll look up and give thanks for the rain 

And our love will shine through the dark

It will never fade, it will never fade, it will never fade

Our love will never fade

Never Fade

Divine.

"Friendship is acting out God's love for people in tangible ways. 

We were made to represent the love of God in each other's lives, so that each person we walk though life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them.

 Friendship is an opportunity to act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is. When we do the hard intimate work of friendship, we bring a little more of the divine into daily life."

 - Cold Tangerines 

     I love this quote and I thought about it nearly every day for four years because I had the most incredible friends. I thought every day about how each one of them showed me the character of God in small and big ways and how my growing relationship with them made me feel closer to God. I was so incredibly and remarkably blessed to live with and spend my time with some of the most beautiful people I have met. 

   All of this is to say that I had another little taste of this divine on Saturday when I spent time with Brittany and Kayla. It is such an incredible feeling to be in their presence. Who they are is astounding, really. And to be with friends who know you is one of my favorite feelings. There are no need for introductions or explanations. No need for first impressions and nerves. It's easy and relaxed and soothing to the soul. 

One Charming Party

Ok this site is the most adorable thing I have ever seen! It has millions of perfect party ideas with free printables and recipes and whatever else you need to have fun! Seriously though, who doesn't want to have a cutesy Valentine's breakfast? 

But I promise you, the truth is that you're loved. so loved.

I needed this today. Such a beautiful song with such a beautiful truth. Listen up

Bacon

Fact: I am a vegetarian.

Fact: My husband is not a vegetarian. 

Fact: My husband recently discovered a renewed love of bacon. 

Fact: When I come home everyday my house smells like a bacon factory. 

This is my current life situation. 

If you love bacon or bacon perfume come sit in my house right now. 

Pro-fessional

    It is amazing how having one semester's experience can make you feel like a pro the next semester. I remember feeling that way in undergrad and I'm feeling it again today - on my first day of second semester in grad school.

    On my first day last semester I was nervous most of the day and stared at my closet swearing I had nothing that was appropriate for grad school. I kept trying to strike the balance of dressing like an adult but not stuck up and looking casual but not like a slob. And I brought all my books with me as if the professor was going to ask us for evidence that we had purchased our books or give us a pop quiz over everything that day.

    Today, however, I spent most of the day in my PJ's reading a book, listening to Rosie Thomas and chatting with my husband over his lunch break.

So today I feel confident to face graduate school yet again.

This of course may change after the syllabus shock kicks in but right now I'm feeling like a pro!

Ready. Set. Go.

Mend

I got a sewing machine for Christmas!!! (and subsequently a sewing room AKA I claimed the guest room as mine before Adam knew what was happening) Adam's parents bought me the sewing machine and his mother gave me tons of sewing lessons over the weekend. I used it as soon as I got home to make that cutesy little owl guy on my sewing shelf. He was supposed to be a pin cushion but I feel bad sticking him with needles so he is just going to be for decoration...and friendly company while I sew. I love doing crafty things and I can't wait to do them with my sewing machine. One of my goals for the year is to complete four sewing projects. I wanted to start with a small number due to my graduate school-ness that gets in the way of hobbies...doesn't make sense, I know!

Farewell 2011

This past year has been the most eventful year of my life thus far and I have a feeling it will be hard to compete with in the future. 

          In 2011.....

   I had my first college snow day ever! 

   I planned a wedding and attended a million bridal festivities. 

   I graduated college and said goodbye to my best friends as they scattered to the four      

   corners of the United States. 

   I got married. MARRIED. 

   I moved for the first time ever (besides college, which doesn't really count in my book)...      

   packed boxes and moved furniture around -  even rented a U-Haul!

   I started two new jobs. 

   I embarked on the adventure that is graduate school and completed one semester. 

   I spent every holiday with Adam for the first time ever and enjoyed every second of it. 

    I think if I have another year like this any time soon my life will be insane! But as I was looking back on the year I realized that I don't want to let 2011 be the peak of my life experiences. I'm only 23 for crying out loud! So I've made plans to have adventures this year, and love people, and be productive, and enjoy each of the 52 weeks I have between me and 2013.
I'm going to live 2012 with intentionality and gusto. 


So long 2011, it's been real. 
And HELLO 2012, let's live it up!